Screwed

So this not nice customer came in today with a screw broken off in his weed wacker. He wanted to get a new screw, however finding the size is a challenge when the screw is broken off filling the hole. As I was trying to tell him I needed to get a wrench to remove it's neighboring screw, which as logic would say should be the same size, he got mad. 

Then the yelling began, " what do you think I'm stupid, I just want a f ing screw I don't want you to take my shit apart". Yes this escalated, he threw screws, in the end when the police came, he threw the weed wacker too. I guess now that he threw it he doesn't need a new screw, just a whole new tool, because he is a tool. 

Ghastly gardens

Ahh more drunk people shopping today. It does make more sense to me to be day drinking on a weekend though. It truly is an art to consume throughout the day without getting too tanked so you can make it past dinner. 

My store had a big green egg demo today.  For those of you who don't know what a green egg is, your not missing too much. It's a ceramic grill/ smoker that costs more than your first car. They are cool if your into it and use it, mainly ppl just buy them to look cool with their rich buddies. Anywho, these eggs get hott and maintain their heat. People laugh when I say we need to put up signs that say do not touch caliente. I saw several inebriated customers offer to bring beer into the parking lot if they could throw their burgers on the flame. The one gentleman was rather insisting and started to lean over tword the hot egg to use it to steady himself. The vendor rep from green eggs face was hilarious," like danger no burning flesh on the 1,000 grill you might tip it over with your tonnage".

Other things of note today revolve on the lack of plants. I told them order more, they don't listen. People get rather defensive on their flower picks for their yard, like the nfl draft. Will this plant be the winning combo? Combos I've seen  do look more like a tornado than a winning team. take a lesson from me people I know what works, don't try and match marigolds with pink petunias in a pot. it will not be the World Series team from money ball it will look like your garbage can after a kids birthday party. Stick with classics and if you want to switch it up ask me, not colorblind aunt Betsy.  

Call me crazy, I know I am, at least I'm not drunk

So, next time I decide to go work retail will someone please remind me not to do it. Sure, working fewer hours is enticing and in the slow season it's an easy job. Come the beginning of May please shoot me. 

Doing the garden center thing can be nice. I know plants and I really can help with all sorts of yard troubles, but refrain from shopping when your smashed. Too many drunk people buy lighter fluid and charcoal for anything to be remotely safe. Not to mention the wasted people cutting through the parking lot to go buy beer at jewel.

Today while loading 40lb bags of shit, yes it is literally shit of the cow manure type, I was nearly smooshed by a Corsica. Followed closely by a guy from Colorado who backed into my sign and an 8 ft tall stack of mulch bags. Colorado guy must have brought some good pot with him, and totally wouldn't share, I asked. Don't worry although he was high as a kite he did help with the mulch disaster by buying 15 bags he hit and some propane, ya know you need more fire when you get the munchies. 

Must end retail nightmare, or maybe just add some rum to my diet Pepsi so I can be as loaded as the shoppers/ the manager of the plumbing department. 

Mopeing or mopping

, With the unrelenting snow here in the Midwest we have all experienced the dirty floor dilemma. Walk in from the snow with wet shoes and make the floor dirty, wash floor, repeat, fact of life. 

 Fitting my retail hours in with my other jobbie job I tend to work at night and I end up mopping the floor at work. It is by no means my passion to create clean floors, just part of the job. I have observed there are 3 kinds of walkers on wet floors. 

1. The over cautious I'm so sorry I'm walking on your clean floor. 

2. The why are you in my way I'm walking here. 

3. And the no attention whatsoever slip and fall on there butt on the wet floor.  

Alas as long as no one falls and I have to mop up blood I don't care. A few days ago I learned the strangest thing; apparently, I have been incorrectly mopping for quite some time. I was under the impression that clean water and soap were the key to cleaning floors. I am not supposed to use any soap in the water, because all soap type products ruin the wax on the tile. 

 For some reason smearing dirt in circles with dirty water seems counterintuitive. And using floor cleaning products made for waxed tile would make sense. But what do I know, I am just a plebe.