Sidewalk Sales

So this week the general dictator at my store decided it would be a stupendous idea to have a sidewalk sale in front of the store. Nothing says good old fashioned savings like throwing a few tables out front of a store and selling some old crap that no one has purchased at lower prices. The only problem with this scenario is that my store is on the West Side of Chicago. Instead of buy me, all of the items neatly arrayed on tables scream steal me, and run quick there is no door to stop you!

Being deemed one of the expendable people with no definite purpose at the store I had the honor of baby sitting the tables of junk for the past two days. Its not a terrible job, answer questions on how much things cost and where to pay. But I was exposed to some of the most interesting people.

First off, I have pretty clear handwriting. One of my fellow co workers couldn't stop complementing me on my handwriting during this whole ordeal (that person is a whole other story of booze and bewilderment), I guess having learned the Palmer method in grade school puts me ahead in life. So I make these nice, clear, concise 5x7 signs and place them directly below each item. Needless to say I was asked, cuanto cuesta, more times than I can count.

The little annoyance of being asked dumb questions isn't the kicker of the experience. It kind of goes along with how I don't really care about my job. One of the items was a box cutter that was priced at 2 bucks, and it had a 2 dollar rebate, making it pretty much free. So what is the item that I saw go into a pocket, and found the most empty packages, its this dumb knife. I just cant wait until the homeys that took them try to use them, they are so poorly made that it won't even cut the packaging that they were in.

I did get to be exposed to some team members from throughout the store who I only see in passing. It was nice to hear some interesting stories about going to clubs and getting smacked around by ladies, stories of strippers, and explanations on why the state of Florida is getting bigger because of global warming. Its kindof fun to just listen and nod your head without laughing out loud.

Some of the best observations at work are always from the customers. One middle aged couple saw this super sale item and just had to have it. They talked my ear off on how it was the best item ever and how its going to make their house so awesome. They have a teal colored bathroom, and they wanted to spice it up with a bit more color. And it was their luck that we had the perfect item reduced to 100 from 600. Now I have seen my share of ugly house products but this one is in the top ten of 2011. It is a desert rose pink 3 piece preformed shower, 7 ft tall of pure pepto. And then picture the nasty of a teal and pink bathroom, it makes me think of Miami Vice.

One of the best guests I've had in a while came in today. As he walked up I knew there was something off, he had a bit of a stagger and a slight list. The other problem he had was when he got dressed to come to the hardware he put on a blue shirt, long black socks, and white shoes. The black socks and white shoes isn't the height of fashion, but its tolerable if you remember the rest of your outfit, especially to apply pants. This gentleman was wearing boxers without pants. You might shrug it off and say, oh they were just running shorts, or some 80's short shorts. Nope, they were boxers, and the fly didn't have a button closure. So between the tables of stuff and this guy I definitely saw enough junk today.