So why do people not bathe or wash their clothes?I don't understand it, it's 2011 and there is this new fangled thing called plumbing. It brings running water to you when ever you like. No walking to the river with a bucket, just turn on the faucet and tada!
People really smell that come into my store. It has to be bad when I smell them seeing as my nose is always stuffy. If I can smell you, you have a problem. I would like to hand out soap at the entrance to the store, but then would they use it? I may have to go back to spraying febreeze after stinkers walk away.
So today I had a gentleman who was rather ethnic get mad at me and start yelling. I calming told him off without raising my voice letting him know I don't deserve to be yelled at. It didn't help the situation, he got madder. The guy smelled horrible, and was yelling at me! I was relieved when I walked away and didn't have to hear or smell him. Maybe he was really mad because he could smell himself.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
This just in.... Mobile reports
Greetings from the dungeon of despair. I downloaded the mobile app today, so I can report from in the field of failure. Today has been typical, only one extreme assaholic. Even when your nice to some people they are just crappy. Although this guy who was up there in the meanness category actually admitted he was wrong and apologized! I guess he may be making steps to becoming a better person, the first step is supposed to be admitting your an ass.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Sharing Is Not Caring
My days at my big box bonanza have to be numbered! Things are just getting more bizarre and more retarded. Yesterday the closing manager who is a nice person, but lacks in motivation to do anything work related decided she was sick. So she left work early. Then another of my coworkers called in. This had the potential to be a horrifying evening, leaving one me to cover about half of the store. The poor guy who tried to call in was actually sick, but they made him come in because the other manager had left. He needed a box of Kleenex to make it through his shift and they wouldn't even let him go early. Talk about mean Corporate America, they would rather have you in misery on the clock spreading germs, than let you stay home so that you can return and be more productive.
Friday night I had to work at night again, my least favorite shift. And before I took a snickers break I decided to wash my hands. As I approached the restroom there was some strange yelling and a waft of unpleasant odor. Yes, it is a toilet and people do poop there. But this was a mix of flame broiled with Lysol and nasty. As, I turned the corner into the sink area I notice there was a rather drug influenced gentleman in the ladies room. He was on his cell phone and yelling at someone. His phone was plugged into the wall underneath the soap dispenser, which was dripping on the cord because in his adamant gestures he kept pulling the cord against the flipper that releases the soap. As he was talking he is flopping his Whopper around releasing bits of lettuce and chewing on a Twizzler in which its Twizzler friends were scattered on the floor and in the sinks. This guy was highly under the influence of a controlled substance, my guess crack. So I did a 180 and walked back out to find a co worker to help me confront his guy. One thing I am certain of is to not confront crack heads in confined quarters without the buddy system. When I found a friend to give me a hand he was like, "That's a guy in the ladies room! Sir you can't be in the ladies room". It took a minute for the guy to gather up his whopper and errant Twizzlers, and while he did he just set his phone in the soap pile. He picked it up and put the soapy thing in his pocket with the Twizzlers, and took off.
One more brief candy related story. Again during a snickers break (they happen daily), I had an encounter with a less than savory individual. As I walked outside the store to more car and I was snacking he asked me for a bite of my candy bar. This wasn't a little kid, or a homeless person. It was a certifiable pervert. Maybe my lesson should be to not have a snickers break. Maybe the big on chocolate not on fat three musketeers would be a better option.
Friday night I had to work at night again, my least favorite shift. And before I took a snickers break I decided to wash my hands. As I approached the restroom there was some strange yelling and a waft of unpleasant odor. Yes, it is a toilet and people do poop there. But this was a mix of flame broiled with Lysol and nasty. As, I turned the corner into the sink area I notice there was a rather drug influenced gentleman in the ladies room. He was on his cell phone and yelling at someone. His phone was plugged into the wall underneath the soap dispenser, which was dripping on the cord because in his adamant gestures he kept pulling the cord against the flipper that releases the soap. As he was talking he is flopping his Whopper around releasing bits of lettuce and chewing on a Twizzler in which its Twizzler friends were scattered on the floor and in the sinks. This guy was highly under the influence of a controlled substance, my guess crack. So I did a 180 and walked back out to find a co worker to help me confront his guy. One thing I am certain of is to not confront crack heads in confined quarters without the buddy system. When I found a friend to give me a hand he was like, "That's a guy in the ladies room! Sir you can't be in the ladies room". It took a minute for the guy to gather up his whopper and errant Twizzlers, and while he did he just set his phone in the soap pile. He picked it up and put the soapy thing in his pocket with the Twizzlers, and took off.
One more brief candy related story. Again during a snickers break (they happen daily), I had an encounter with a less than savory individual. As I walked outside the store to more car and I was snacking he asked me for a bite of my candy bar. This wasn't a little kid, or a homeless person. It was a certifiable pervert. Maybe my lesson should be to not have a snickers break. Maybe the big on chocolate not on fat three musketeers would be a better option.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Wacky Weekend
So usually I don't write about all the details of working, just the off the wall parts. So i thought I would just give you a slice of a typical day. Today was a very average day of ups and downs in the world of retail. I started a nice quiet Sunday morning picking up pots that were a strewn about the garden center, very typical. Then I was asked to mover some bird baths. This in itself is not terrible, the problem developed when I went to pick one up. Yep they were concrete with a total weight as assembled of 180 lbs. Naturally being a smart cookie I took them apart and created a 40lb piece and an 140 lb piece. Right off the bat I dropped one of the 40lb pieces, and in the juggling and rolling and tipping of the heavier part I managed to break two bases in half. They were so much easier to pick up and put in the garbage that way!
I spent most of the rest of the day assembling generators. Pretty fun stuff actually. Except when both of the other team members on the clock go on lunch at the same time, which happens to be at 12:30 when we are getting a rush. It makes me so happy to rush around the store like a crazy person trying to answer the phone, help people in person and make sure the front end gets the right numbers to check out people.
During the craziness, there was a really nice customer. She drove to our store from another store that was about a half hour away looking for a product that the other store told her we had. We didn't have it, and I looked everywhere, which I really rarely do for someone. She was so nice and polite and such a change from our stores typical clientle.
Sadly, immediately after I had a lady ask for help with mouse traps that are on rebate. She was the opposite of the nice lady. She grabbed this weeks ad from my hands, folded it to what she wanted and then threw it on the desk in front of me. At that point I was ready to make a break for the door, but I took her to the product, reassuring her that I was going to help her get the mouse traps. I took her right to the item, and put it in her cart, and she continued to be evil. As she complained about my coworkers intelligence I was expecting her head to begin spinning and pea soup to come out. As I left her I told her that I hope the full case of mouse traps that she was purchasing would be enough to handle her infestation, and that if needed we have rat traps.
The rest of my day was full of unremarkable people who were looking for bedbug spray, flag holders, car jacks and weed whackers. Yesterday I did have a woman call from a suburban store looking for a weed whacker that we have and another store was lacking. As I gave her directions to the hood, she asked if it was a safe neighborhood. After talking to this lady for way too longer with all her annoying questions, I didn't sugar coat it. I told her that someone was killed behind the store earlier this summer, but that was OK because he was shot by the police. I could just hear her face drop over the phone. Then she asked me " Why do you work there"? I answered that I need a job and that the checks don't bounce, but it made me think. Really why do I work there?
I spent most of the rest of the day assembling generators. Pretty fun stuff actually. Except when both of the other team members on the clock go on lunch at the same time, which happens to be at 12:30 when we are getting a rush. It makes me so happy to rush around the store like a crazy person trying to answer the phone, help people in person and make sure the front end gets the right numbers to check out people.
During the craziness, there was a really nice customer. She drove to our store from another store that was about a half hour away looking for a product that the other store told her we had. We didn't have it, and I looked everywhere, which I really rarely do for someone. She was so nice and polite and such a change from our stores typical clientle.
Sadly, immediately after I had a lady ask for help with mouse traps that are on rebate. She was the opposite of the nice lady. She grabbed this weeks ad from my hands, folded it to what she wanted and then threw it on the desk in front of me. At that point I was ready to make a break for the door, but I took her to the product, reassuring her that I was going to help her get the mouse traps. I took her right to the item, and put it in her cart, and she continued to be evil. As she complained about my coworkers intelligence I was expecting her head to begin spinning and pea soup to come out. As I left her I told her that I hope the full case of mouse traps that she was purchasing would be enough to handle her infestation, and that if needed we have rat traps.
The rest of my day was full of unremarkable people who were looking for bedbug spray, flag holders, car jacks and weed whackers. Yesterday I did have a woman call from a suburban store looking for a weed whacker that we have and another store was lacking. As I gave her directions to the hood, she asked if it was a safe neighborhood. After talking to this lady for way too longer with all her annoying questions, I didn't sugar coat it. I told her that someone was killed behind the store earlier this summer, but that was OK because he was shot by the police. I could just hear her face drop over the phone. Then she asked me " Why do you work there"? I answered that I need a job and that the checks don't bounce, but it made me think. Really why do I work there?
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Stories from the weekend
As predicted I did get to hear interesting stories from my coworkers weekends. One of the guys from another department usually has some good ones from going to the clubs.
A bit about my friend before I tell you his stories, hes in his early 20's and is kind of a recent immigrant to the US. Hes used to how things were back in the old country to an extent and is amazed at some of his experiences in the clubs in Chicago. For instance, recently at a club they were playing some old school 80's music that encourages break dancing. So being his interesting self he decides to bust a move. Apparently back in the old country he was on some break dancing team, and no one suspects that a skinny white kid can get down old school. I would have loved to see this in person, but luckily there are cell phone cameras that capture the moment. Being the new kid on the block got him some gripe from the more colorful patrons of the establishment, but it also caught him some ladies.
His latest story from the weekend involved dancing with a rather drunk 40ish woman that was looking for a little younger hookup. She bought him a few drinks and started more than grinding on him. In his description all of a sudden her leg was on my shoulder on the dance floor.Meanwhile, another one of my co workers was dancing with a "lady" near by and when the guy with the cougar was trying to get his attention to tell him he was leaving with her he realized that my naive friend was infact dancing with a guy wearing a dress. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but my unsuspecting polish friend was not expecting this "hot chick" to be a dude.
A bit about my friend before I tell you his stories, hes in his early 20's and is kind of a recent immigrant to the US. Hes used to how things were back in the old country to an extent and is amazed at some of his experiences in the clubs in Chicago. For instance, recently at a club they were playing some old school 80's music that encourages break dancing. So being his interesting self he decides to bust a move. Apparently back in the old country he was on some break dancing team, and no one suspects that a skinny white kid can get down old school. I would have loved to see this in person, but luckily there are cell phone cameras that capture the moment. Being the new kid on the block got him some gripe from the more colorful patrons of the establishment, but it also caught him some ladies.
His latest story from the weekend involved dancing with a rather drunk 40ish woman that was looking for a little younger hookup. She bought him a few drinks and started more than grinding on him. In his description all of a sudden her leg was on my shoulder on the dance floor.Meanwhile, another one of my co workers was dancing with a "lady" near by and when the guy with the cougar was trying to get his attention to tell him he was leaving with her he realized that my naive friend was infact dancing with a guy wearing a dress. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but my unsuspecting polish friend was not expecting this "hot chick" to be a dude.
Monday, September 12, 2011
A case of the Mondays
So as I sit here not wanting to go to work on a Monday morning I can't help but think that its not just Mondays that I don't want to go to work. Days that end in y are pretty much the days that I don't want to attend. Sometimes Mondays aren't the worst day of the week, especially when I work the weekend and a Monday is like a Friday.
One of the worst things is coming in and hearing from coworkers how the weekend was when they were working. I avoid thinking about work when I am not there, but when I walk in the door and there is a barrage of questions backed up from the weekend, or more than a few stories of hellish customers, it brings more of a downer. Then there is Nancy who works in the story, Nancy is very negative. She has worked for the company way too long, and her negative just rubs off on everyone. Sour grapes would be sweet compared to her attitude. I've tried helping Nancy with some stuff outside of work to maybe think that it would help her overall outlook of not niceness. But, no Nancy is just plain old bitter and spiteful. If she saw the wicked witch get a house dropped on her, she would simply say that there's another old bitty lined up to take her place. Maybe someone should drop a house on Nancy to improve her charm.
But nonetheless, today is a Monday and I get to look forward to being asked where the paint department is, where are the strews, and an assortment of other odd questions from customers and fellow team members. Maybe today I will be lucky and I won't get forced into being a cashier, or get hit with a 2x4, or have to listen to people complain about their jobs. Today can go smoothly and cheerfully.
One of the worst things is coming in and hearing from coworkers how the weekend was when they were working. I avoid thinking about work when I am not there, but when I walk in the door and there is a barrage of questions backed up from the weekend, or more than a few stories of hellish customers, it brings more of a downer. Then there is Nancy who works in the story, Nancy is very negative. She has worked for the company way too long, and her negative just rubs off on everyone. Sour grapes would be sweet compared to her attitude. I've tried helping Nancy with some stuff outside of work to maybe think that it would help her overall outlook of not niceness. But, no Nancy is just plain old bitter and spiteful. If she saw the wicked witch get a house dropped on her, she would simply say that there's another old bitty lined up to take her place. Maybe someone should drop a house on Nancy to improve her charm.
But nonetheless, today is a Monday and I get to look forward to being asked where the paint department is, where are the strews, and an assortment of other odd questions from customers and fellow team members. Maybe today I will be lucky and I won't get forced into being a cashier, or get hit with a 2x4, or have to listen to people complain about their jobs. Today can go smoothly and cheerfully.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Anniversarys
So this week I "celebrated" my 8th anniversary of working for my company. Its not really a thing to celebrate in my book. Am I grateful I've had a job for the past 8 years, sure. Am I happy with the job I have, no. Today I told someone that it was my anniversary at work, and the were like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I've only been here 6 years and I want to quit". That kindof makes me feel like an ass hole.
There are some of positives of working in the same company for so long:
1. I have an extensive collection of polyester polo shirts. They are unflattering and over sized, but the sheer abundance of them allows me to go over a week without doing laundry.
2. I get to meet some of the most interesting people. There is the nutty chicken lady who lives in the city and has chickens running around her house, and tells me interesting stories about growing up in Germany. There is the crazy old guy with the drunk son who comes in like twice a day trying to come up with new schemes to fix his house. He always has the same stories about the westside neighborhood back in the 1940's. Ooo theres the one strange tall guy who comes dressed in different costumes. Sometimes hes wearing a hat that looks like he should be in a rice patty. Other times he looks like a biker with leather pants. I haven't really talked to him too much cause hes kindof scary, but hes interesting.
3. I do have great co workers. As much as I don't like my job the people I work with are the reason I keep attending. There are a few who I can't stand and would like to throw under a bus, but for the most part people I work with are good shit.
4. Where else could I work that I would get to make people feel stupid every day? I know its not very nice to make people feel dumb, but it makes me laugh when people ask where the bathroom is in my store when I am in the main aisle. Its not as fun when I'm farther away, but if I'm in the main aisle and I tell them to turn around and read the 10 ft long neon green electric sign that says restrooms. It makes me laugh on the inside and they feel stupid.
There are some of positives of working in the same company for so long:
1. I have an extensive collection of polyester polo shirts. They are unflattering and over sized, but the sheer abundance of them allows me to go over a week without doing laundry.
2. I get to meet some of the most interesting people. There is the nutty chicken lady who lives in the city and has chickens running around her house, and tells me interesting stories about growing up in Germany. There is the crazy old guy with the drunk son who comes in like twice a day trying to come up with new schemes to fix his house. He always has the same stories about the westside neighborhood back in the 1940's. Ooo theres the one strange tall guy who comes dressed in different costumes. Sometimes hes wearing a hat that looks like he should be in a rice patty. Other times he looks like a biker with leather pants. I haven't really talked to him too much cause hes kindof scary, but hes interesting.
3. I do have great co workers. As much as I don't like my job the people I work with are the reason I keep attending. There are a few who I can't stand and would like to throw under a bus, but for the most part people I work with are good shit.
4. Where else could I work that I would get to make people feel stupid every day? I know its not very nice to make people feel dumb, but it makes me laugh when people ask where the bathroom is in my store when I am in the main aisle. Its not as fun when I'm farther away, but if I'm in the main aisle and I tell them to turn around and read the 10 ft long neon green electric sign that says restrooms. It makes me laugh on the inside and they feel stupid.
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