Crikey

So after many, many, many, many, years the end of my retail career is in sight. I have already relinquished my title as the chief flower fluffer, and time is ticking down on the super screw sales. So this weekend I realized just how gross people are in the hood. Having worked in retail for eight years I have seen my share of gross, but the frequency of nasty is much higher at this store.

For starters people have this tendency to preform bodily functions at inopportune times and places. Three times this weekend I walked past people in the socket aisle and they totally farted. Not like a small release, but like an audible head turning rumble. I wonder if they were giving out free bean burritos in the parking lot?

I also noticed that people have a problem holding their food in their bodies. Its understandable when a small child pukes, but adults throwing up in aisles due to drug use and or intoxication is a bit much. Twice in the recent past I have turned a corner to encounter projectiles.

Then there is the poop. Last summer someone pooped in the specialty screw aisle. Really, who drops their pants and drops a #2 in a hardware store. And lately their has been a trend of parents leaving dirty diapers in the children's play area. There are garbage cans and bathrooms, yet people still choose to leave these stink bombs in carts, on chairs and on the floor.

In general, besides the bodily semi solids, people are slobs on the west side. On the nights that I have the privilege of sweeping up the store I get to clean an assortment of food items. You get your standard gum wrappers and candy, but often times there are chips, peanut shells and sunflower seed shells. This is not Texas roadhouse, its a home improvement store! How do you think that it is remotely OK to eat peanuts and throw the shells on the floor? Shelled peanuts are an awkward snack to choose while you peruse drill bits? Wait i forgot, we sell them in 5lb bags its a super convient snack when you decide to steal them from the shelf, no evidence...